The Golden Apple

Faerie Fails

Lyrics & Melody by Mike Crook

So the Cobblers refered the King to the last paragraph of the scroll, stating because the princess QUOTE had worn the shoes without socks UNQUOTE it was an irreversible contract so the cobblers took to the palace and marched out with all it’s treasures. They all bobbled straight to the nearest tavern where they drank happily ever after.

The moral of this faerie fail is don’t go in the woods
No ifs no buts and no definitely should
You know what bears can do and you know it to be foul
And there’s a lane built round it to the town

There was a pretty little girl with a relative to see
She wasn’t one for camouflage, she never suited green
And as she took a bag of goodies to her grandma through the week
She was prayed on by a dog with dirty, great, big teeth


Three brother billy goats went to eat the meadow’s green
They came upon a bridge that went across the stream
Because the goats were lazy, didn’t fancy going round
Two of them were eaten by a fat troll underground


Don’t go in the woods. Leave that food it’s not your
That cow’s worth more than dried goods
And that sleeping girl more than likely snores

A tailor swatting flies, bored with the cards he’s dealt
Brags that he’s done better, then writes it on his belt
Finds himself in court with bigger beasts to track
The beast needs more than smacking with a flimsy leather strap


So if you find yourself near trouble and a choice you need to make
The path of least resistance may not be the one to take
Meeting hair and teeth or someone wants you for a strew
Take the long way round will more than likely profit you